Annemie wrote her debut with the title: "Gentle, gentle for you"
It's a novel with a high level of truth,
about the journey of a young woman from insecurity to self-confidence.
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Send an email to email@example.com
Immerse yourself in the healing story of the friendship between Lara,
a young, insecure woman and Yorinde, an older, wise lady.
Excerpt from the book
I feel lost.
I'm so afraid, actually I barely dare to write you.
But your look was so warm when we met. You welcomed me, just like that. And I saw that you meant it.
It moved me deeply and it strengthened my longing to break free and to live fully.
And when you said: “You're welcome to write me, about anything”, I felt deep inside: Yes, I'm going to do this. I need help, I want to get out of this.
So I'm gonna send this now, without re-reading, without thinking, because otherwise I start doubting and then I no longer dare to send it.
I'm very happy that you took the first step, that you wrote me. The first step takes so much courage. It's like a jump into the unknown, without knowing where you will end up.
You're welcome, and it is safe here. You can tell me anything, but there's no obligation. Take your time to feel carefully what you would like to share.
I'm always here for you. Let my warmth surround you until you feel completely safe. And be reassured, I will stay well in touch with myself, and only help you if I can.
Above all I want to listen to you.
Do you want to tell me what you're so afraid of?
Or is that still too difficult? In that case, let it rest for now.
There is time. As long as your longing to live keeps burning, you keep moving inside. Movement which can be very small and slow, or very intense and fast, or anything in between.
You can do everything in your own way and at your own pace.
You'll get there, Lara, you'll surely get there.
thank you, you're so sweet.
I want to try to open up at my pace. You radiate trust and faith. That encourages me.
I'm afraid of so many things. I feel very insecure. I hardly ever dare to say what I feel or think, and sometimes I don't even know anymore what I feel. Then I feel cut off from everything and a bit numbed and empty.
This feeling stays until I make everything peaceful and quiet around me and start listening to myself, pretty much the same way you listen to me. And then it comes to the surface, the event that unsettled me. But I often feel ashamed about that. It seems so silly.
I also feel overwhelmed very often. Life is so difficult for me. There is so much that I don't know and don't understand and feel incapable of.
I feel inadequate.
you're sharing very deep feelings with me.
I would like to tell you how I treat them.
I wrap everything you write with warmth. I hold your feelings lovingly in my arms and rock them gently.
I cherish you.
You are welcome with all your questions and searching. You're not alone.
I stand right beside you and behind you, when you want to lean upon me and drain off.
I see the beauty and the power in you.
The strength to continu your life despite so many difficulties, and to keep searching for a way that works for you.
It's wonderful that you can listen to yourself with love and find your way back to connection with yourself.
You mentioned your insecurity, shall we focus on that some more?
I will ask you a few questions, choose which one(s) you want to answer. And if you prefer writing about something else, that's fine too of course.
What does insecurity mean for you? Can you describe the feeling?
When do you feel insecure?
thank you. I feel that I can really trust you. I wrote very deep things in my previous letter indeed. Afterwards I was trembling with fear, but you reassure me. My vulnerability is safe with you: you don't laugh at me and you don't try to change me. You truly welcome me the way I am.
That's new for me and it moves me deeply.
I have felt so lonely in my life, so terribly lonely. It's the first time I can share these deep things with someone. I feel that somewhere deep inside I'm starting to warm up.
Describing my insecurity... that's painful, but maybe it's necessary to bring a change about.
I feel imprisoned in insecurity. It's like a thick wall around me, which makes it hard for me to see other people, and probably for them to see me. I get uptight inside, I freeze, I can't breathe properly.
The feeling that something is wrong with me is very, very deeply ingrained in me. The fear that other people will think I'm ridiculous. The fear that I'm too sensitive, too emotional, too complex. I feel very desperate inside, and very lonely. As if no-one can reach me and I don't really dare to reach out.
My insecurity is a paralysing fear, which keeps me from being myself. It's almost like a permanent state of being for me. Only during some moments, in some contacts I can heave a sigh of relief.
But it always stays present on the background. At any time someone might say something and the insecurity takes me off guard and rules me over. I have very little space to move about in this way.
I so want it to change, but I really don't know how. I tried in so many ways to get out of this, and sometimes it works temporarily, but I always fall back into it.
Do you know what could help me?
your courage is admirable.
It's beneficial to bring outside what lives inside you. That's a big step on your path to liberation.
I recognize what you write about insecurity. I have felt the same way in my life. So many young people and adults struggle with insecurity, but it is rarely talked about. It's such a painful state to be in, which mostly remains hidden from the outside world.
Insecurity is often passed on from one generation to another, and our schools and societal structures can also increase insecurity.
I grew out of it slowly. It took a few years, it's a process that takes time.
What helped me the most in the beginning was asking myself the following question: where did my insecurity start?
What do you think is the cause of your insecurity?
Do you want to tell me more about that?
© Annemie Nijs
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